Why People Leave Facebook…And Usually Come Back.

Recently, one of my friends announced (on Facebook) that she was quitting Facebook.  Most people who want to quit something just stop doing it. Instead, my friend updated her status and gave her Facebook friends the chance to send her their contact information so as to stay in touch.  In my opinion, this is just silly.

First, chances are you already have all the contact information necessary to keep up with the people who are truly important to you.  Second, even if your newfound Facebook friends give you their info, there’s no way you’ll keep up with all their lives via email or give them a call to see if they broke up with “so and so” or got fat.  These aren’t questions you ask people. But, it’s why we use Facebook.

We’ve all seen someone quit Facebook before.  So what causes people to quit when clearly we can all see they were happily updating us on their grocery store experience just hours earlier?

I recently read an article in TIME magazine that said some people leave Facebook because it makes them feel miserable (I know, big leap there).  The article went on to explain that many users become jealous of their friends or start feeling lonely when too many statuses change to “in a relationship.”  A study of 600 Facebook users revealed that “one in three felt worse after visiting the site—especially if they viewed vacation photos.”

Another article by Bianca Bosker in the Huffington Post claims people quit Facebook because of the social network’s lack of respect for our personal privacy.

What I find interesting about all this, is that most of the people I know who quit Facebook come back.  They make a grand exit and then a few months later you see them post a new picture and their timeline has been magically restored as if they never left.

Some people (those who leave for emotional reasons) blame their own feelings on Facebook.  They feel jealous, lonely, or sad because they are going through a breakup while someone else is getting married or having kids.  It’s not Facebook’s fault you’re 30 and single (nor is that a bad thing).  I’m not always the biggest fan of Facebook, but if this is why you don’t like it, quitting it isn’t going to make you happier.  These things happen in life and eventually, if you know and care about these people, you’re going to find out sooner or later (Facebook just makes you find out a lot sooner).  If Facebook makes you miserable, life probably makes you miserable too.   You need to take a look in the mirror and think about ways you can improve things and make positive changes.

Those who leave for political reasons are usually trying to be unique or protect their information.  The funny thing about quitting to be different is that nobody will know you’re different…because you can’t share it.  And the funny thing about leaving for privacy is that if you’re reading this right now, it’s already too late.

While it scares me to think of all the unborn children who already have an online identity these days,  I think the world just needs to accept the fact that nothing is private anymore.  At this point, it’s like complaining about the price of gas.  Yeah, it sucks, but there’s not much we can do about it.

So anyways, people quit…to each their own.  What’s sillier than quitting for these reasons? Coming back!  Returning to Facebook after emotional or political exits is like getting back with your ex.  Everyone will pretend they are happy to see you back together, but really they think you’re a moron.

Have you ever quit Facebook?

Be Brave. Be Yourself.

The last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of new things. Some of these adventures I chose, some I was forced into, but all of them left me feeling the same. HAPPY!!

Last night was the highlight of my adventures. I had the privilege of seeing Lindsey Stirling perform at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo, NY. I give my boyfriend all the credit for finding this gem. His innate ability to find super interesting things and identify trends light years before the rest of the world is just one of the many reasons why I love him! Stirling is rock star violinist…literally.

(photo via lindseystirlingviolin.com)

She combines classical violin with modern dance, dubstep, rock n’ roll and even the Legend of Zelda! Stirling became famous on YouTube for her unique talents and gamer appeal (she currently has over 1,800,000 subscribers and 263 million hits). She was a finalist on America’s Got Talent, performed at video game conventions and now has a world tour and millions of fans all over the globe. Talk about being interesting!

At one point in the show, Stirling talked candidly about some of the obstacles and barriers she faced while trying to follow her dream. I can only imagine how hard it must have been trying to get people on board with her act, let alone understand what she’s all about. People told her she wasn’t marketable. But she didn’t let that stop her.

She pushed on and did so in her own way, becoming an international inspiration. Watching fans rock out and fist pump to a violinist playing and dancing to Phantom of the Opera was truly epic…and definitely marketable!

What did I learn? When you are feeling down and dull, try something new. You don’t have to go to a rockin’ violin concert (even though I highly recommend it…at least check out her YouTube channel, that’s free), but you have to get out of your comfort zone. Go to lunch with someone you usually avoid, go see a documentary, read a new book, visit a new local place, call your mom just to say hi…anything! Getting out of your comfort zone is the best way to learn new things, make new discoveries and gain self-esteem….all of which make you a more interesting person. This one event sparked a half hour conversation with my dentist today. I discovered some great local concerts to go to, and that even old dentists can be Metallica fans.

So get out there and be brave. Be you and try something new. Feel free to share some cool (and not so cool) new things you’ve done recently too 🙂

When Did Being Well-Rounded Turn Into Being Boring?

I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for quite some time now.  Like so many others, I put it off and put it off. Blogging is a big commitment and there’s not much I commit to for free.  Unless it’s something I really care about (like family, friends and Starbucks rewards).  However, I recently graduated with my master’s in marketing and one of the most important things I learned (after dropping another 30K on education I can’t afford) was to KEEP LEARNING.  And the best way for me to keep learning is to keep doing…hence deciding to write a blog.

My next challenge was deciding what to write about.  I read a million tips and tricks and they all said something like “write about what you’re interested in,” “provide value to your audience,” “solve a problem with your expertise,” and so on.  Well guess what…I’m interested in a lot of different things, so this was no easy task!

Months went by and I still couldn’t decide on any topics or focus for my blog.  Why would you want to listen to me?  How can I be interesting?  I’m not a thought leader.  I’m not an expert in anything.  Sure I have a lot of great skills, but expert?  Hardly.  The dictionary defines an expert as: “having, involving, or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience.”  The key word here is “special.”  Take a second and try to think about what it is that really makes you special…

Seeing my dilemma?

Marketers will say they have special social media skills or they are strategic planning experts.  Lawyers will say they are expert litigators.  Salespeople will say they are expert speakers and have special networking skills.  If all of these people are “experts” and have special skills, how come so many others can do the exact same thing?

Most of us aren’t experts at all.  We just say we are.

It was this realization that finally got me blogging.  I was never going to find a topic to write about that provides you with expert advice because I’m not an expert!  What I can do is relate to all you other skillful self-doubters out there and attach positive meaning back to the term “well-rounded.”  Somewhere along the line, being well-rounded turned into being boring.  Having a lot of great skills isn’t nearly as valuable as being an expert in one particular thing these days (try job hunting), but I decided not to let this stop me.  Not being an expert doesn’t have to mean being dull and (hopefully) this blog will prove me right.

The purpose of this blog will be to share what I’ve learned from super interesting and boring experiences, to become a more interesting person and to provide value and insight to others by being myself: a well-rounded expert in nothing.