You Know You’re Getting Old When…

As another year ends I’m reminded of how much older I’m getting. I certainly haven’t grown much, physically or mentally. I mean I did finish my master’s degree in 2013, but I’m still the person who makes fart noises behind peoples backs when they say something stupid in public, let’s be serious.

So how do I know I’m getting old? It started a few years back when I was in a movie theatre with my boyfriend, watching a preview of the new Footloose. A group of tweens in front of us started debating whether or not it was a remake. One insisted she saw something like it before.

Ultimately they concluded Footloose was not a remake. Are you kidding me? It took everything in my being not to throw popcorn at those little turds.


That’s when it hit me.

Over the years all my friends got married and now they are having babies (another major sign you’re getting old). This doesn’t bother me one bit though. I’m really happy for all you spouses and parents out there. I’m not missing my college partying days by any means (ok maybe a little). This is just another indication that I’m supposed to start acting like an adult now. My Facebook newsfeed is filled with sonograms and mushy love notes (ew people, just stop).

Today, in true adult fashion, my boyfriend and I were at a fast food restaurant. While we debated the dollar menu options we would soon regret, a young girl slipped and fell behind us while walking through the door. Not a bad fall, just a good old fashioned humorous flop. She got right up and her and her friends laughed their asses off. It was funny and she was obviously fine. While we were eating, however, the manager came by and made her sign off on a bunch of paperwork that promised she would go see a doctor and not press charges and bla bla bla.

Ten years ago, this never would have happened. Or maybe it would have, I don’t know, but the fact that I am having this reaction must mean I’m getting old (and also the fact that I’m blogging at 10:30pm on Friday night). Is this what the world has come to? Does everyone have to sign their life away whenever they take a harmless spill? I bit the dust last week in a Target parking lot and nobody seemed to care. Are we not supposed to laugh at that anymore?

Anyways…now that I’m obviously starting to get old, I decided on a couple of good New Years resolutions:

1. Never grow up (completely). That’s right folks, I’ll be making fart noises behind your back until the day I die.

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2. Make new friends. This one is important. As we get older we tend to lose touch with good friends. Maybe it’s a natural part of life, or maybe it’s because we just get lazier as we get older, I’m not sure. But while I’m still in my 20s I’m going to bulk up my friendzone while it’s still socially acceptable.

Happy New Year!